Heya all,
I know, I know...
It's been quite awhile since I last wrote in this blog. And judging by the trickling of visits to the site, I'm thankful that some of you still have me in mind. Though the numbers are down significantly, I'm nonetheless, thankful that there's still an inkling of interest.
Anyways, I've decided to blog again. Arghh!!!! Oh yes... and just when you'd thought you've finally gotten rid of me :)
So, stay tuned as we restart the engine of googlings.com on Monday with, hopefully, some inspiring writing that'll help you get through the day with a slight smile.
See you soon!
Warmest regards,
Ron
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Noah And The Pendant Of Life
Wahoo! So, my manuscript's been submitted for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award 2009. Preliminary results won't be in until mid-March, so keep your fingers crossed, ya.
You can get an excerpt of the novel at:
https://www.createspace.com/Preview/1054376
Your feedback would be great!!!
You can get an excerpt of the novel at:
https://www.createspace.com/Preview/1054376
Your feedback would be great!!!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I'm Back!
Okay, okay... I know everyone's probably been wondering where on earth I've disappeared to. My fault... so sorry.
But hey, here's some good news.
Just completed my first novel. Wahoo!
Titled : NOAH AND THE PENDANT OF LIFE
I'll be submitting it for competition on the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. http://www.amazon.com/Breakthrough-Novel-Award-Books/b?ie=UTF8&node=332264011
So, be sure to look out for it!
Also, I'm currently working on a full length comedy movie script. Have yet to firm a name for it. Will keep you posted once it's done...
Cheerio!
But hey, here's some good news.
Just completed my first novel. Wahoo!
Titled : NOAH AND THE PENDANT OF LIFE
I'll be submitting it for competition on the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. http://www.amazon.com/Breakthrough-Novel-Award-Books/b?ie=UTF8&node=332264011
So, be sure to look out for it!
Also, I'm currently working on a full length comedy movie script. Have yet to firm a name for it. Will keep you posted once it's done...
Cheerio!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Bearing crosses
There is a tendency within us all to shift responsibilities that we crave for or are unable to live up to ourselves upon the shoulders others, whether it be our spouses or friends. And this is often masked with expectations for the others to fulfill – that which we ourselves are unable to fulfill.
What am I talking about?
The many issues of morality, social responsibilities and character traits which we place upon someone else to live up to, which we ourselves are unable to do so. And what is even more striking is that we “demand” that our spouses or friends fulfill these expectations to an absolute.
More often than not, too, we make provide a convenient escape for ourselves through various ways and means, whether it be on a platform of “nobleness” or “self-sacrifice” where we tell our spouses or friends that we are unable or do not have the capabilities to pursue what we want them to. We then proceed to harbour hopes and aspirations that they can achieve what we have failed or are failing to achieve.
To be honest, there is no nobleness or self-sacrifice in our actions.
See, the burden to fulfill achievements and responsibilities should and must rest squarely on our own shoulders… regardless. For this is what is mean in the words of the Bible when it says that each person must bear their own crosses. There is no exception.
Therefore, to expect and/or make another bear our crosses, be it our spouses or friends or even mere acquaintances is not only irresponsible, it is cruel. And for those that do try to bear another’s cross, that too, is irresponsible and cruel because while the intentions may sound noble, when we do not allow another to carry their own responsibilities, we are prolonging the crippling process of self-actualisation for the other. We are not God, nor do we have the capability to sustain or shoulder such undertakings.
What am I talking about?
The many issues of morality, social responsibilities and character traits which we place upon someone else to live up to, which we ourselves are unable to do so. And what is even more striking is that we “demand” that our spouses or friends fulfill these expectations to an absolute.
More often than not, too, we make provide a convenient escape for ourselves through various ways and means, whether it be on a platform of “nobleness” or “self-sacrifice” where we tell our spouses or friends that we are unable or do not have the capabilities to pursue what we want them to. We then proceed to harbour hopes and aspirations that they can achieve what we have failed or are failing to achieve.
To be honest, there is no nobleness or self-sacrifice in our actions.
See, the burden to fulfill achievements and responsibilities should and must rest squarely on our own shoulders… regardless. For this is what is mean in the words of the Bible when it says that each person must bear their own crosses. There is no exception.
Therefore, to expect and/or make another bear our crosses, be it our spouses or friends or even mere acquaintances is not only irresponsible, it is cruel. And for those that do try to bear another’s cross, that too, is irresponsible and cruel because while the intentions may sound noble, when we do not allow another to carry their own responsibilities, we are prolonging the crippling process of self-actualisation for the other. We are not God, nor do we have the capability to sustain or shoulder such undertakings.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Full and absolute responsibility
We have great admiration for leaders and people who have taken full and absolute responsibilities for their decisions, actions and results that arise from their charge or even those that are not a direct result of their doing, but consequences from subordinates.
Yes, they are the ones that take full responsibilities for direct or indirect results if for nothing more than honour and dignity. And then there are those that are blatantly cowards, leader whom we see over and again blaming others for just about anything that go wrong and taking credit undeservingly for things that do go right.
Okay, enough said of leaders and such. Once again, I would like to bring this matter to heart on a micro level and address it to everyone, myself included.
See, the essence of bearing full and absolute responsibility for one’s actions or inactions is the first step towards being honest with ourselves. Yes, there will be countless times that things seems to spin out of our sphere where circumstances can be seen as “partly” or “fully” to be blamed for. But in truth, it is our response to it that matters more and to be fully accountable for our decisions thereafter.
For example, if natural disasters strike, our first reaction is to blame God and all. Second comes the blame on environmental change brought about by irresponsible industrialist that exploit everything for monetary gains. Yes, all that is part to blame, even to a large extend also. But that has happened. But we also have to look deep inside ourselves to realize that the response and responsibility to rebuild lies solely in our hands.
Then there are other responsibilities that we must also take in full, regardless of how much it reveals our character flaws, both to the world as well as to ourselves. Yes, to live up to the expectations of a persona that is all good, morally upright and such can be tiring. We are all after all human and there is nothing good or morally upright about each of us and to have such high and lofty expectations of ourselves is nothing more than trying to play God.
True, we are all called to thread the footsteps of godliness, but that does not mean that we have to do so at the complete expense of being truthful. For then, that push to stay godly becomes a lie altogether.
See, the more we look introspectively at a mirror, the more we will come to the realisation that we are all imperfect. Hence, if we are to make decisions or even indecisions, let us be true to ourselves and admit that we do so because we want to do so and not because of circumstances and such.
Yes, circumstances may feel very much like the reasons for our distress and pain, but circumstances are innate. We, on the other hand have thoughts, emotions and feelings that separate us as human beings from lifelessness.
Only when we are able to do that that we will be taking full and absolute responsibility for everything and for our lives. Only then will honour and dignity mean what it should mean, regardless of how much mud and slime it may come with.
Yes, they are the ones that take full responsibilities for direct or indirect results if for nothing more than honour and dignity. And then there are those that are blatantly cowards, leader whom we see over and again blaming others for just about anything that go wrong and taking credit undeservingly for things that do go right.
Okay, enough said of leaders and such. Once again, I would like to bring this matter to heart on a micro level and address it to everyone, myself included.
See, the essence of bearing full and absolute responsibility for one’s actions or inactions is the first step towards being honest with ourselves. Yes, there will be countless times that things seems to spin out of our sphere where circumstances can be seen as “partly” or “fully” to be blamed for. But in truth, it is our response to it that matters more and to be fully accountable for our decisions thereafter.
For example, if natural disasters strike, our first reaction is to blame God and all. Second comes the blame on environmental change brought about by irresponsible industrialist that exploit everything for monetary gains. Yes, all that is part to blame, even to a large extend also. But that has happened. But we also have to look deep inside ourselves to realize that the response and responsibility to rebuild lies solely in our hands.
Then there are other responsibilities that we must also take in full, regardless of how much it reveals our character flaws, both to the world as well as to ourselves. Yes, to live up to the expectations of a persona that is all good, morally upright and such can be tiring. We are all after all human and there is nothing good or morally upright about each of us and to have such high and lofty expectations of ourselves is nothing more than trying to play God.
True, we are all called to thread the footsteps of godliness, but that does not mean that we have to do so at the complete expense of being truthful. For then, that push to stay godly becomes a lie altogether.
See, the more we look introspectively at a mirror, the more we will come to the realisation that we are all imperfect. Hence, if we are to make decisions or even indecisions, let us be true to ourselves and admit that we do so because we want to do so and not because of circumstances and such.
Yes, circumstances may feel very much like the reasons for our distress and pain, but circumstances are innate. We, on the other hand have thoughts, emotions and feelings that separate us as human beings from lifelessness.
Only when we are able to do that that we will be taking full and absolute responsibility for everything and for our lives. Only then will honour and dignity mean what it should mean, regardless of how much mud and slime it may come with.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Changing the world
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Remedy for depression
Everyday living, and the enormous amount of family, work, money and other related stresses that we all go through on the wheel of daily grind, to the countless and seemingly endless times when we honestly feel that life isn’t worth living anymore, we sink helplessly into depression.
While most of us can still yoke a bare existence in zombie-like conditions to numb ourselves to the harsh realities of life, some of us will entertain thoughts of suicide.
But more often than not, when we’re at the apex of depression, where we are at our lowest ebb in life and there seem to be no other way out except to “end it all”, and a friend or stranger comes along who desperately needs emotional support, or even just a friendly ear, somehow, somewhere deep within us, wells up a spring of fresh water.
For that moment, however brief, we drop all thoughts of depression and swiftly move into help provide whatever we could to help him/her out. It’s an irony, if you consider it since we are actuality in no position of capacity to offer aid.
But see, that’s just it. We all come with a charitable heart, endowed by our Creator. This heart sits at the very centre of our being and although at many times over in our lives we have either compartmentalized it, swept it under the carpet or simply chose to whitewash it away as a means to harden ourselves up to face the “realities of life”, it still resides within, regardless.
Hence, there are and will be many times when it wells up periodically, whether it is masked as institutionalized charity giving, weekend big brother/big sister programmes or even just dropping off a few coins to the beggar along the street, it is there… no denying it.
Yes, there are countless times also when we choose to be monsters, speaking and acting against charity, against humanity, against any form of goodness on the pretext that it is a sign of weakness or fallacy in today’s world, we all harbour that God-given element within us. We are created as such.
See, even at the lowest ebb of our being, when relationships falter, a loved one passes on or even being so enormously debt-ridden, we will still have “a little time left” to help out that friend or stranger who is reaching out for a little help. We do it because charity, humanity and goodness give us opportunities to exercise our purpose in life.
See, our true purpose in life is not to make the Forbes 100 World’s Most Powerful or Richest list, or to live a life of bare existence from paycheck to paycheck until we reach the grave at three scores and ten, but it is towards our fellow human beings.
It is the only thing separating us from animals, that while do not have aspirations to be the most powerful or gain the largest amount of wealth, neither possess conscientious need for that purpose of again… charity, humanity and all that is good.
Maybe it’s high time we dedicate ourselves to our real purpose instead of all that we’ve been after all this while…
While most of us can still yoke a bare existence in zombie-like conditions to numb ourselves to the harsh realities of life, some of us will entertain thoughts of suicide.
But more often than not, when we’re at the apex of depression, where we are at our lowest ebb in life and there seem to be no other way out except to “end it all”, and a friend or stranger comes along who desperately needs emotional support, or even just a friendly ear, somehow, somewhere deep within us, wells up a spring of fresh water.
For that moment, however brief, we drop all thoughts of depression and swiftly move into help provide whatever we could to help him/her out. It’s an irony, if you consider it since we are actuality in no position of capacity to offer aid.
But see, that’s just it. We all come with a charitable heart, endowed by our Creator. This heart sits at the very centre of our being and although at many times over in our lives we have either compartmentalized it, swept it under the carpet or simply chose to whitewash it away as a means to harden ourselves up to face the “realities of life”, it still resides within, regardless.
Hence, there are and will be many times when it wells up periodically, whether it is masked as institutionalized charity giving, weekend big brother/big sister programmes or even just dropping off a few coins to the beggar along the street, it is there… no denying it.
Yes, there are countless times also when we choose to be monsters, speaking and acting against charity, against humanity, against any form of goodness on the pretext that it is a sign of weakness or fallacy in today’s world, we all harbour that God-given element within us. We are created as such.
See, even at the lowest ebb of our being, when relationships falter, a loved one passes on or even being so enormously debt-ridden, we will still have “a little time left” to help out that friend or stranger who is reaching out for a little help. We do it because charity, humanity and goodness give us opportunities to exercise our purpose in life.
See, our true purpose in life is not to make the Forbes 100 World’s Most Powerful or Richest list, or to live a life of bare existence from paycheck to paycheck until we reach the grave at three scores and ten, but it is towards our fellow human beings.
It is the only thing separating us from animals, that while do not have aspirations to be the most powerful or gain the largest amount of wealth, neither possess conscientious need for that purpose of again… charity, humanity and all that is good.
Maybe it’s high time we dedicate ourselves to our real purpose instead of all that we’ve been after all this while…
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Truthfulness
Admittedly, this is another highly insightful and penetrating thought that I’ve to credit my dear brother once again. He’s been an avid supporter of my blog and even complimented me on how it has been getting deeper each time, something that he had taken his whole life to understand. Now, that really meant the whole world to me since he’s about one of the very, very few people whom I truly admire in this world.
What he pointed out can best be simplified in one sentence – “For truth to be truth, it has first got to be free”. Now, I know it may seem like a very simple thing but believe me it’s reality can be truly overwhelming.
Yes, applied to a macro perspective, we can readily see it in the lifelong fight for democracies and such where freedom is fought for in exchange for truth. But here, I would like to bring it closer to home. That is, to ourselves and how we often than not, in while seeking for truth in our lives, refuse to let freedom rule first. As a result, we gag truth with such elements ranging from “love” and “respect”, to “responsibilities”.
Don’t recognize it? How about the times when we’ve allowed for jealousy to have free reign when it’s honestly not about loving someone, but rather possessing someone? Or about the times when we’ve made another person obligate themselves to us because we cannot stand to lose? We label them conveniently and sometimes unconscientious as “love”, “respect” and “responsibilities”.
See, we have refused to allow others to be free to make choices that are truthful, both to ourselves and them. There is a whole lot of truth with author Richard Bach’s words when he wrote “When you love someone set them free. If they come back they are yours; if they don’t they never were.”
If we are truly serious about being truthful in our lives, regardless of how much it may hurt, we have to let freedom reign first and foremost. This means no catches, no strings attached and no conditions. Freedom is truth. And if we truly respect others as persons and not possessions, then we have to make a conscientious choice to be truthful and to have that truth based on absolute freedom.
Without freedom, there is no truth.
What he pointed out can best be simplified in one sentence – “For truth to be truth, it has first got to be free”. Now, I know it may seem like a very simple thing but believe me it’s reality can be truly overwhelming.
Yes, applied to a macro perspective, we can readily see it in the lifelong fight for democracies and such where freedom is fought for in exchange for truth. But here, I would like to bring it closer to home. That is, to ourselves and how we often than not, in while seeking for truth in our lives, refuse to let freedom rule first. As a result, we gag truth with such elements ranging from “love” and “respect”, to “responsibilities”.
Don’t recognize it? How about the times when we’ve allowed for jealousy to have free reign when it’s honestly not about loving someone, but rather possessing someone? Or about the times when we’ve made another person obligate themselves to us because we cannot stand to lose? We label them conveniently and sometimes unconscientious as “love”, “respect” and “responsibilities”.
See, we have refused to allow others to be free to make choices that are truthful, both to ourselves and them. There is a whole lot of truth with author Richard Bach’s words when he wrote “When you love someone set them free. If they come back they are yours; if they don’t they never were.”
If we are truly serious about being truthful in our lives, regardless of how much it may hurt, we have to let freedom reign first and foremost. This means no catches, no strings attached and no conditions. Freedom is truth. And if we truly respect others as persons and not possessions, then we have to make a conscientious choice to be truthful and to have that truth based on absolute freedom.
Without freedom, there is no truth.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Freewill
Freewill. Yes, I know that we all agree to a great length on what it means and even would vouch tooth and nail to defend it. But here, I would like to offer something that’s going to piss a lot of so called proponents of this thing we call freewill.
Let’s set the record right first. I believe freewill to be the single most significant inherent right of each individual, that’s God-given and one that should not and cannot be alienated from every individual. This is the absolute freedom to make choices and be wholly accountable for one’s own actions.
Having said this, I find it a great contradiction in terms when the very people that champion its rights seek to destroy the very fabric that makes up freewill.
I’m talking about the suppression of freewill through ways and means that may not seem as visually dramatic or straightforward as say the imprisonment and torture of opposition by some military junta in some ruthless despot-ruled nation.
What I’m talking about is the “need” by some to lord over the lives of others either through the umbrella of religion, philosophy or morality or even emotionally.
How many times over and again do we hear of how threats, both veiled and otherwise are used from the pulpit to “safeguard the morality of the people” where hailstorms and the brimstones of hell await those that do not adhere? Emotionally-wise, how many times have we come across emotional blackmail, both that are “morally right” and that which is done at the namesake of maintaining family unity.
Bringing this onto a ground level perspective – parents that harbour and place life-long responsibility toward children to be filial to them as their parents had done to them before, husbands and wives that place tremendous emotional conditions for each other to conform as how society sees marriage and family and friends to each other to collapse on as emotional crutches. In all cases, there is always a catch, a leash to tie another person down to be subservient to us.
How we’d like to term it, whenever we seek to control another person’s freewill, whether intentionally or otherwise, whether outwardly or inwardly, whether harshly or softly… we have taken to playing God over another… something of pure travesty since God himself even refused to do that since it is the most precious of all gifts given to each and every individual. This is the gift that separates humans from all other living beings.
And therefore, no measure of so called “morality” and “for the goodness of”, whether disguised or otherwise makes it right to seek such conformity, such subservience… neither religion, philosophy, morality or emotions, collectively or as individuals.
Now, do we all really understand freewill? Perhaps not as much as we should.
Let’s set the record right first. I believe freewill to be the single most significant inherent right of each individual, that’s God-given and one that should not and cannot be alienated from every individual. This is the absolute freedom to make choices and be wholly accountable for one’s own actions.
Having said this, I find it a great contradiction in terms when the very people that champion its rights seek to destroy the very fabric that makes up freewill.
I’m talking about the suppression of freewill through ways and means that may not seem as visually dramatic or straightforward as say the imprisonment and torture of opposition by some military junta in some ruthless despot-ruled nation.
What I’m talking about is the “need” by some to lord over the lives of others either through the umbrella of religion, philosophy or morality or even emotionally.
How many times over and again do we hear of how threats, both veiled and otherwise are used from the pulpit to “safeguard the morality of the people” where hailstorms and the brimstones of hell await those that do not adhere? Emotionally-wise, how many times have we come across emotional blackmail, both that are “morally right” and that which is done at the namesake of maintaining family unity.
Bringing this onto a ground level perspective – parents that harbour and place life-long responsibility toward children to be filial to them as their parents had done to them before, husbands and wives that place tremendous emotional conditions for each other to conform as how society sees marriage and family and friends to each other to collapse on as emotional crutches. In all cases, there is always a catch, a leash to tie another person down to be subservient to us.
How we’d like to term it, whenever we seek to control another person’s freewill, whether intentionally or otherwise, whether outwardly or inwardly, whether harshly or softly… we have taken to playing God over another… something of pure travesty since God himself even refused to do that since it is the most precious of all gifts given to each and every individual. This is the gift that separates humans from all other living beings.
And therefore, no measure of so called “morality” and “for the goodness of”, whether disguised or otherwise makes it right to seek such conformity, such subservience… neither religion, philosophy, morality or emotions, collectively or as individuals.
Now, do we all really understand freewill? Perhaps not as much as we should.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Kindness
Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness.
Amandine Aurore Lucile Dupin A.K.A. "George Sand" (1804 - 1876)
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Friendship
There are many phrases and words in the Bible which I cannot honestly say that I do not understand. Rather, it is more of an inability to accept what it says. However, there are some which may appear initially to be somewhat unacceptable by humanitarian terms, only to find that cultural and social contexts of modern day differs greatly from that of Biblical eras, resulting in conflicts.
Having said that, there root of many of its message and insight remains beautiful to the core, and surprisingly, cuts through even to modern day, especially when it came to the self-actualisation of an individual.
Take an example of the verse : “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends,” taken from John 15:13.
In modern-day Southeast Asia, at least, the social context of this reference is not so much noble as it is damaging. Yes, we’re all familiar with fathers that care more for their friends than their families, always willing to go the extra mile for them than their own wives or children. This, despite them knowing that their friends are no more than mere “fair weathered friends” while their families suffer through for the next meal.
In as much as I sympathize for these situations, may I offer this. It is not about the friends that they are going the extra mile for. Deep within, it is about themselves and the need or craving to satisfy their own longings while the “friends” that they have milling around are only conduits. It is about themselves and not any other for a person can be with a thousand people, both family and friends and yet, feel like he/she is alone on an island.
Having said this, I guess you would understand by now how John 15:13 feels more like something ugly, at least for a lot of Asian mindsets.
Yet, there is always a flipside to every circumstance and situation.
Let’s face it. “Greater love hath no man than this…” pretty much says it in black and while. This is the ultimate love factor. It is greater than the love that one has for loved ones or even for one’s own life. So, to have that stated is kinda, well, how should I say it? …Ouch!
But let’s look at it from another angle, that of a humanitarian viewpoint.
Who’s a friend? Someone apart from ourselves, that’s for sure.
Actually, both loved ones and friends can be friends, as well as the millions of people that need our help, not just for a good time, but more out of desperation. It’s a little hard to explain, but I guess people that you relate to on an emotional level. Yes, it is sad to admit that you can be laying next to your husband or wife and still not be able to relate to as friends. There is an emotional detachment that hurts especially when one is unable to be a friend to the other as perhaps they were at initial stages of courtship.
Over the years, that friendship seemed to have faded away. That’s truly sad.
Yet, at the very same time, when we have “discovered ourselves” or as author Gary Zukav’s book aptly titled “The Seat of the Soul” pretty much explains a settling-in of one’s own, then friends to us takes on a whole different meaning. It has become an extension of ourselves. Emotions that can be related to strangers or acquaintances (aka friends) will flow easier, although that may not necessary be so for our loved ones.
Maybe its also time to be a friend to them, too. Perhaps then, we can truly realize the words “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
Having said that, there root of many of its message and insight remains beautiful to the core, and surprisingly, cuts through even to modern day, especially when it came to the self-actualisation of an individual.
Take an example of the verse : “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends,” taken from John 15:13.
In modern-day Southeast Asia, at least, the social context of this reference is not so much noble as it is damaging. Yes, we’re all familiar with fathers that care more for their friends than their families, always willing to go the extra mile for them than their own wives or children. This, despite them knowing that their friends are no more than mere “fair weathered friends” while their families suffer through for the next meal.
In as much as I sympathize for these situations, may I offer this. It is not about the friends that they are going the extra mile for. Deep within, it is about themselves and the need or craving to satisfy their own longings while the “friends” that they have milling around are only conduits. It is about themselves and not any other for a person can be with a thousand people, both family and friends and yet, feel like he/she is alone on an island.
Having said this, I guess you would understand by now how John 15:13 feels more like something ugly, at least for a lot of Asian mindsets.
Yet, there is always a flipside to every circumstance and situation.
Let’s face it. “Greater love hath no man than this…” pretty much says it in black and while. This is the ultimate love factor. It is greater than the love that one has for loved ones or even for one’s own life. So, to have that stated is kinda, well, how should I say it? …Ouch!
But let’s look at it from another angle, that of a humanitarian viewpoint.
Who’s a friend? Someone apart from ourselves, that’s for sure.
Actually, both loved ones and friends can be friends, as well as the millions of people that need our help, not just for a good time, but more out of desperation. It’s a little hard to explain, but I guess people that you relate to on an emotional level. Yes, it is sad to admit that you can be laying next to your husband or wife and still not be able to relate to as friends. There is an emotional detachment that hurts especially when one is unable to be a friend to the other as perhaps they were at initial stages of courtship.
Over the years, that friendship seemed to have faded away. That’s truly sad.
Yet, at the very same time, when we have “discovered ourselves” or as author Gary Zukav’s book aptly titled “The Seat of the Soul” pretty much explains a settling-in of one’s own, then friends to us takes on a whole different meaning. It has become an extension of ourselves. Emotions that can be related to strangers or acquaintances (aka friends) will flow easier, although that may not necessary be so for our loved ones.
Maybe its also time to be a friend to them, too. Perhaps then, we can truly realize the words “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
Monday, July 7, 2008
The tsunami within
Now this is not about any spy thriller and some witness protection plan that one hides away in some other remote place in the world with a new identity and a new life to boot.
But what it is, I believe is something that applies quite universally to everyone who’s feeling the “thick of battle” or the weariness of having to deal with less than desirable people day in and day out.
Yes, you know what I’m talking about. We all have desires, whether hidden or otherwise, to just run away to another place, another city or another country so that we can leave all that unpleasantness behind us and “start afresh”. Sometimes, too, it is more than a desire… it is a need.
But while I am all for one to just pack his/her bags and leave to that place where the sun should shine brighter and the grass is real (and not some astroturf), I sometimes wonder too, whether all the running will actually produce what we’ve after.
See, many will say “Yes, I do love myself… it’s the people that I can’t stand” and that there is a need to break away and go on a sojourn to “find ourselves”.
But honestly, do we really love ourselves as we ought to? If we did, we would have “found ourselves” already.
See, we love the things or the perception of ourselves; the way we wear our hair, the way we dress, the persona we project for the world to see. Yet, at the very heart of it all, we failed to honestly love ourselves to a point where the hairstyles, the clothes, the possessions and the image does not count as much as the reality of a life that’s truly authentic, both to others as well as ourselves.
It is a place where we can truly sit restful with a peace that surpasses all the crisis, all the calamity and all the tsunamis that swirl all around. Yes, it is an inner peace and acceptance of truly loving who we are, not what we have achieved.
Some may term it wearing our character on our sleeves, while some others will recognize it as being so coyly confident of oneself. However it’s called, it’s presence is undeniable and its power to remain calm in the eye of the storm is real. And believe me, at the very eye, the core of the tornado, while all around swirls with mayhem, the centre is dead calm. Yes, it is surreal, but nonetheless, real.
So perhaps, while the troubles, problems and chaos may be from the world and the circumstances, and place that we find ourselves in right now, the greater trouble is within ourselves. And unless we can come to a place where in the midst of all that chaos, there is still a core of absolute calm, there may be no place far enough that we can run to, nor a heaven real enough at the end of the rainbow.
For it is not so much against others that we battle with, but is with ourselves. So, unless the battle is fought, the war cannot be won.
But what it is, I believe is something that applies quite universally to everyone who’s feeling the “thick of battle” or the weariness of having to deal with less than desirable people day in and day out.
Yes, you know what I’m talking about. We all have desires, whether hidden or otherwise, to just run away to another place, another city or another country so that we can leave all that unpleasantness behind us and “start afresh”. Sometimes, too, it is more than a desire… it is a need.
But while I am all for one to just pack his/her bags and leave to that place where the sun should shine brighter and the grass is real (and not some astroturf), I sometimes wonder too, whether all the running will actually produce what we’ve after.
See, many will say “Yes, I do love myself… it’s the people that I can’t stand” and that there is a need to break away and go on a sojourn to “find ourselves”.
But honestly, do we really love ourselves as we ought to? If we did, we would have “found ourselves” already.
See, we love the things or the perception of ourselves; the way we wear our hair, the way we dress, the persona we project for the world to see. Yet, at the very heart of it all, we failed to honestly love ourselves to a point where the hairstyles, the clothes, the possessions and the image does not count as much as the reality of a life that’s truly authentic, both to others as well as ourselves.
It is a place where we can truly sit restful with a peace that surpasses all the crisis, all the calamity and all the tsunamis that swirl all around. Yes, it is an inner peace and acceptance of truly loving who we are, not what we have achieved.
Some may term it wearing our character on our sleeves, while some others will recognize it as being so coyly confident of oneself. However it’s called, it’s presence is undeniable and its power to remain calm in the eye of the storm is real. And believe me, at the very eye, the core of the tornado, while all around swirls with mayhem, the centre is dead calm. Yes, it is surreal, but nonetheless, real.
So perhaps, while the troubles, problems and chaos may be from the world and the circumstances, and place that we find ourselves in right now, the greater trouble is within ourselves. And unless we can come to a place where in the midst of all that chaos, there is still a core of absolute calm, there may be no place far enough that we can run to, nor a heaven real enough at the end of the rainbow.
For it is not so much against others that we battle with, but is with ourselves. So, unless the battle is fought, the war cannot be won.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
The reality of "realities"
Ever get that sinking feeling that no amount of goodness one does ever helps? You know, the times when you look all around you and find that it’s really not worth keeping your head above the waters of the world? How the bad always seem to be reaping all the benefits of their misdeeds and the good gets crapped all over?
Yes, many times over we hear the words how reality dictates that we all have to be cruel and crude to survive in this world and that the notions of good reigning triumphant over evil is nothing more than mere fairytale words. In short, life is money and money is life… after all, that’s why everyone’s fighting to climb one over the other, isn’t it? That’s why
Yes, I hear that all the time too and many a times, I succumbed to its lure also. But a life lived in pursuit of material possessions by whatever means (and usually, that meant screwing others over) is a life that’s even sadder than anything you can ever imagine.
But facts are facts, you may say. After all, one cannot deny seeing the realities that such cruelty brings – fame, fortune and luxury. How is it that these people always seem to be able to get away with it all? Perhaps we, too, ought to follow suit? After all, the world seems to be like that, doesn’t it?
Here, I would like to argue a point that perhaps that is not reality, for reality (or “the world”) is how we dictate how we are seeing, how we want to see and how we will choose to see it in our minds. Can you even imagine putting a price tag on human life? We do that all the time.
This person’s worth a quarter million dollars, that person’s worth four billion dollars. How then, about the ones like you and me who are in negative territories? Heck, that would make us worth less than nothing. What? My God-given life, conceived against billions of odds on the only planet in this whole wide world that is perfect and able to support human life and to have that measured by paper (aka money)? This very same paper that people have committed suicide over their inabilities to pay off debts?
Not only is that sacrilege, but to have it as a master over us makes a mockery of all that which is humanity. And to say that that is “reality” is nothing more than grossly demeaning.
So, let me ask you again. What is reality?
What you see is not necessary reality. What others say is not necessary reality. What others do and seem to reap the “fruits” of their deeds is not necessary reality.
Reality is this: humanity.
Because at the root of it all, only humanity resides within our hearts, soul and mind. And if we would only realize to ourselves how real that is, how it is able to bubble and fizzle from within ourselves, it is in essence what they say, some thing that “money can’t buy” – happiness. Now, I’m not talking about a “happiness” that springs from being able to buy the latest bag, eat at the spanky new restaurant or go on a 30-day super vacation.
No, it is real happiness that is able to keep the window of hope open when we’re at the dungeon of despair. It is an intangible happiness that far surpasses tangible happiness (er… the one that can be bought with either paper or plastic). It is a happiness that no amount of possessions can ever hope exchange for. That happiness, my friend, comes from within.
So, again I ask you. What is reality? Isn’t it about time we change our “realities” to reality? It’s time to see how God sees us rather than how others see us. Now, that’s reality!
Yes, many times over we hear the words how reality dictates that we all have to be cruel and crude to survive in this world and that the notions of good reigning triumphant over evil is nothing more than mere fairytale words. In short, life is money and money is life… after all, that’s why everyone’s fighting to climb one over the other, isn’t it? That’s why
Yes, I hear that all the time too and many a times, I succumbed to its lure also. But a life lived in pursuit of material possessions by whatever means (and usually, that meant screwing others over) is a life that’s even sadder than anything you can ever imagine.
But facts are facts, you may say. After all, one cannot deny seeing the realities that such cruelty brings – fame, fortune and luxury. How is it that these people always seem to be able to get away with it all? Perhaps we, too, ought to follow suit? After all, the world seems to be like that, doesn’t it?
Here, I would like to argue a point that perhaps that is not reality, for reality (or “the world”) is how we dictate how we are seeing, how we want to see and how we will choose to see it in our minds. Can you even imagine putting a price tag on human life? We do that all the time.
This person’s worth a quarter million dollars, that person’s worth four billion dollars. How then, about the ones like you and me who are in negative territories? Heck, that would make us worth less than nothing. What? My God-given life, conceived against billions of odds on the only planet in this whole wide world that is perfect and able to support human life and to have that measured by paper (aka money)? This very same paper that people have committed suicide over their inabilities to pay off debts?
Not only is that sacrilege, but to have it as a master over us makes a mockery of all that which is humanity. And to say that that is “reality” is nothing more than grossly demeaning.
So, let me ask you again. What is reality?
What you see is not necessary reality. What others say is not necessary reality. What others do and seem to reap the “fruits” of their deeds is not necessary reality.
Reality is this: humanity.
Because at the root of it all, only humanity resides within our hearts, soul and mind. And if we would only realize to ourselves how real that is, how it is able to bubble and fizzle from within ourselves, it is in essence what they say, some thing that “money can’t buy” – happiness. Now, I’m not talking about a “happiness” that springs from being able to buy the latest bag, eat at the spanky new restaurant or go on a 30-day super vacation.
No, it is real happiness that is able to keep the window of hope open when we’re at the dungeon of despair. It is an intangible happiness that far surpasses tangible happiness (er… the one that can be bought with either paper or plastic). It is a happiness that no amount of possessions can ever hope exchange for. That happiness, my friend, comes from within.
So, again I ask you. What is reality? Isn’t it about time we change our “realities” to reality? It’s time to see how God sees us rather than how others see us. Now, that’s reality!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Shifting sands
As we continually look for stability and certainties in our lives as demonstrated most vividly by the lifestyles we seek, the jobs we go for, the education we pursue and the demands we have for our lives as well as for others, we failed to realize, or rather, refuse to acknowledge the fact that everything changes, including people.
I have seen priests becoming demons, and demons becoming angels. I have seen the good turn bad and the bad turn good. And in all these, there is only one thing constant – change.
Whether some would consider it evidence for the evolution of the human species, I wouldn’t know. Admittedly, I am not a specialist in that field, nor have an interest to study that field in detail either. But if it’s any consolation, I am not talking here about the evolution of humans, rather, the evolution of humanity. That is, the evolution of social interactions, the evolution of self-realisation and the evolution of thought.
So what on earth am I driving at here?
Well, I know that in many varied circumstances, we all seek some form of assurance, some form of certainty in which to live our lives. That is why we harbour dreams of our ideal partner, our ideal lifestyles, ideal homes, ideal jobs and even ideal ideals (philosophies on which to base our life principles on).
Yet, this is all too fundamentally flawed, fantasies we’d like to see. Even though we know that change is constant and there is never assurances in life, nor will there be, we’d still like to think that we are special way above everyone else and that it’s all going to be different for us somehow.
I’m so sorry to burst your bubble. We’re not. It’s just that it’s happening to us and that’s why we feel the pinch more than anyone else.
Having said that, we can formulate and crystallize our sense of self actualization or as some would call it, self discovery, to deal with our lives that’s less than perfect.
See, for us to be able to see and admit to ourselves that change is constant, even within ourselves, is the first step towards dealing with fluid elements in life such as change. Knowing and acknowledging that we can change from being a priest to a devil (and vice-versa) at the flicker of a moment, we can then learn also of ways to stabilize and make our thoughts and emotions constant to a certain degree for that’s about as realistic we can ever come to encapsulating constant-cy.
Some call this “coming into one’s own”, others, more crudely as “getting old” and therefore becoming more “sage-like”. I’d like to just call it as self-actualization… or as the Bart-man, Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet : “This above all: to thine own self be true.
And it must follow, as the night the day. Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
So, first step to self-actualization? Acknowledging the truth that nothing is ever constant except change… both in others and ourselves. Know our weaknesses and strengths and formulate our principles more realistically, not by the standards the society has set, but rather, by our own self-actualizations.
I have seen priests becoming demons, and demons becoming angels. I have seen the good turn bad and the bad turn good. And in all these, there is only one thing constant – change.
Whether some would consider it evidence for the evolution of the human species, I wouldn’t know. Admittedly, I am not a specialist in that field, nor have an interest to study that field in detail either. But if it’s any consolation, I am not talking here about the evolution of humans, rather, the evolution of humanity. That is, the evolution of social interactions, the evolution of self-realisation and the evolution of thought.
So what on earth am I driving at here?
Well, I know that in many varied circumstances, we all seek some form of assurance, some form of certainty in which to live our lives. That is why we harbour dreams of our ideal partner, our ideal lifestyles, ideal homes, ideal jobs and even ideal ideals (philosophies on which to base our life principles on).
Yet, this is all too fundamentally flawed, fantasies we’d like to see. Even though we know that change is constant and there is never assurances in life, nor will there be, we’d still like to think that we are special way above everyone else and that it’s all going to be different for us somehow.
I’m so sorry to burst your bubble. We’re not. It’s just that it’s happening to us and that’s why we feel the pinch more than anyone else.
Having said that, we can formulate and crystallize our sense of self actualization or as some would call it, self discovery, to deal with our lives that’s less than perfect.
See, for us to be able to see and admit to ourselves that change is constant, even within ourselves, is the first step towards dealing with fluid elements in life such as change. Knowing and acknowledging that we can change from being a priest to a devil (and vice-versa) at the flicker of a moment, we can then learn also of ways to stabilize and make our thoughts and emotions constant to a certain degree for that’s about as realistic we can ever come to encapsulating constant-cy.
Some call this “coming into one’s own”, others, more crudely as “getting old” and therefore becoming more “sage-like”. I’d like to just call it as self-actualization… or as the Bart-man, Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet : “This above all: to thine own self be true.
And it must follow, as the night the day. Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
So, first step to self-actualization? Acknowledging the truth that nothing is ever constant except change… both in others and ourselves. Know our weaknesses and strengths and formulate our principles more realistically, not by the standards the society has set, but rather, by our own self-actualizations.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Living for another
Here’s one that I cannot seem to be able to emphasize well enough. It has to do with a lot of us that harbour all our hopes and futures on either someone else or something. It’s as though we were created merely to add value to someone else’s life.
Granted, the Bible talks about a wife’s submission to her husband quite clearly. But honestly, I cannot for the life of me agree with that. And the only leeway of explaining it away would be perhaps be in the social context of that time period. See, while the Bible may be infallible in terms of theology, I believe there are certain elements, especially in regard to social conditions and implications that do play into what is written and should also be accorded some slack.
I guess what I’m basically driving at is that I believe in the independence of the individual as a person. In this sense, men and women are both created equal and therefore to have anyone living his or her life for another is almost sacrilege.
Unless one can find true happiness with his or her own life, it is totally foolish to think that we can find that happiness in the form of another human being. Unless we can find peace within ourselves, we cannot and will not find real peace in another person whom we harbour all our hopes, dreams and aspirations. Humans are humans after all, not God. Yes, we all screw up and it is unfair to assume that another can replace God, regardless.
Women, just like men have fought in wars, strove through hardships and gone through periods of having to bear responsibility as “heads of households” and to have that birthright as individuals disregarded is not only sexist in nature, but it also devalues each person as humans. Yes, we own animals. We own things, possessions and properties, but we do not own another human being. That’s nothing more than slavery, well at least the last time I checked.
Like it or not, unless we start respecting each individual as a person and not a possession, then we can perhaps begin to inch onward in the sphere of the development of humanity as was meant to be.
So if you’re someone who lives for another, who has all your hopes, dreams and meaning in life placed onto another, perhaps it is time to dig deeper to find the real core of happiness, fulfillment and meaning in no one else but yourself. Because unless you’re able to do that, you will never have real happiness, real fulfillment or real meaning.
And no, it is not nobler to place your life in the hands of another, it’s just irresponsible, both towards yourself and the other.
Granted, the Bible talks about a wife’s submission to her husband quite clearly. But honestly, I cannot for the life of me agree with that. And the only leeway of explaining it away would be perhaps be in the social context of that time period. See, while the Bible may be infallible in terms of theology, I believe there are certain elements, especially in regard to social conditions and implications that do play into what is written and should also be accorded some slack.
I guess what I’m basically driving at is that I believe in the independence of the individual as a person. In this sense, men and women are both created equal and therefore to have anyone living his or her life for another is almost sacrilege.
Unless one can find true happiness with his or her own life, it is totally foolish to think that we can find that happiness in the form of another human being. Unless we can find peace within ourselves, we cannot and will not find real peace in another person whom we harbour all our hopes, dreams and aspirations. Humans are humans after all, not God. Yes, we all screw up and it is unfair to assume that another can replace God, regardless.
Women, just like men have fought in wars, strove through hardships and gone through periods of having to bear responsibility as “heads of households” and to have that birthright as individuals disregarded is not only sexist in nature, but it also devalues each person as humans. Yes, we own animals. We own things, possessions and properties, but we do not own another human being. That’s nothing more than slavery, well at least the last time I checked.
Like it or not, unless we start respecting each individual as a person and not a possession, then we can perhaps begin to inch onward in the sphere of the development of humanity as was meant to be.
So if you’re someone who lives for another, who has all your hopes, dreams and meaning in life placed onto another, perhaps it is time to dig deeper to find the real core of happiness, fulfillment and meaning in no one else but yourself. Because unless you’re able to do that, you will never have real happiness, real fulfillment or real meaning.
And no, it is not nobler to place your life in the hands of another, it’s just irresponsible, both towards yourself and the other.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Optimism and pessimism
Someone once told me a parable at some motivational seminar eons ago and it went something like this:
Two separate rooms, one had a horse in it and another, a metre high of manure (a.k.a. shit). Now, if you put a pessimistic child in the one with the horse, he goes “Urgh, no! A horse, that means there’ll be a lot of manure to deal with”. Put in an optimistic child in the room filled with manure and he’ll go “Wahoo! Where’s there’s manure, there’s bound to be a horse in here somewhere!”
Now, I’m not sure whether that story had and bearing on myself through the years, but nowadays, I can get pretty optimistic if I wanted to. And thankfully, at times like these when inflation is at an all time high and everyone seems to be struggling just to make ends meet, optimism seems to be the only good thing that’s left. It’s either that or to resign ourselves to well… nothingness.
But then that would really be a very sad state of affair if one has to live a life that’s nothing more than mere existence, devoid of anything that’s remotely good that one can achieve. After all, given the billions of odds for each one of us to be conceived from our mother’s womb to experience this world and to have that just thrown away because we’re having a rather hard life to contend with… that’s just not right.
See, what I’m just trying to say is that we all average what they call “three scores and ten” years of life, that is, about 70 years, give and take a few. Now that adds up to approximately 20,000 days only. It’s quite little if you think about it seriously.
So, ultimately, we have to decide whether we honestly want to throw away our lives because it’s just not cut out to be what we’ve expected or force ourselves to be optimists. Yes, I said force ourselves. I don’t believe that optimism is a birthright. It is something that’s learned and developed over time. It is something that’s there to help us make sense of a senseless world.
It’s having the knack to want to see the silver lining in every darkened cloud… regardless. It’s about telling yourself that though you might never find a horse after plough-ing through that metre high manure, you might even find bio-diesel (aka. compost and refined manure). Now at a time when petrol prices top USD140 a barrel, hell… that manure’s definitely worth more as manure than as merely horse dung or even the horse itself.
Two separate rooms, one had a horse in it and another, a metre high of manure (a.k.a. shit). Now, if you put a pessimistic child in the one with the horse, he goes “Urgh, no! A horse, that means there’ll be a lot of manure to deal with”. Put in an optimistic child in the room filled with manure and he’ll go “Wahoo! Where’s there’s manure, there’s bound to be a horse in here somewhere!”
Now, I’m not sure whether that story had and bearing on myself through the years, but nowadays, I can get pretty optimistic if I wanted to. And thankfully, at times like these when inflation is at an all time high and everyone seems to be struggling just to make ends meet, optimism seems to be the only good thing that’s left. It’s either that or to resign ourselves to well… nothingness.
But then that would really be a very sad state of affair if one has to live a life that’s nothing more than mere existence, devoid of anything that’s remotely good that one can achieve. After all, given the billions of odds for each one of us to be conceived from our mother’s womb to experience this world and to have that just thrown away because we’re having a rather hard life to contend with… that’s just not right.
See, what I’m just trying to say is that we all average what they call “three scores and ten” years of life, that is, about 70 years, give and take a few. Now that adds up to approximately 20,000 days only. It’s quite little if you think about it seriously.
So, ultimately, we have to decide whether we honestly want to throw away our lives because it’s just not cut out to be what we’ve expected or force ourselves to be optimists. Yes, I said force ourselves. I don’t believe that optimism is a birthright. It is something that’s learned and developed over time. It is something that’s there to help us make sense of a senseless world.
It’s having the knack to want to see the silver lining in every darkened cloud… regardless. It’s about telling yourself that though you might never find a horse after plough-ing through that metre high manure, you might even find bio-diesel (aka. compost and refined manure). Now at a time when petrol prices top USD140 a barrel, hell… that manure’s definitely worth more as manure than as merely horse dung or even the horse itself.
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