This one has me stumped. For nights I’ve been wresting it out with myself, tossing and turning to what seems like endless sleepless nights. How is it that one can work so hard, only to have the carpet swept from under him. Projects that he has conceived, formulated and worked tirelessly for months, only to have that hijacked without so much as a thank you, only to be given to the likes of apple polishers that take hold of it as though it was theirs to begin with?
And that started me deeper into the depths of a feeling of despair that doesn’t seem to have a glimmer of hope, save for the words that I once had in the pages of my Bible that read “The will of God will not take you where the grace of God cannot keep you.”
In all honesty, though those words can offer a short while of hope, I cannot for the life of me give answers to those that are in deep despair based on those few words.
What does one say to the destitute mother who’s trying desperately to feed her children who are dying from starvation? Or the leper who’s shunned by all of society, including his/her own family and friends (that were once there)?
Yes, these are truly heart-breaking, gut wrenching. I cannot for the life see how hope remains when such things happen.
And to shield off from such “hideousness”, society, that’s you and I, have developed hearts of stones and eyes that don’t see any of these pain and suffering just so that we needn’t feel anguished for those that desperately need help.
We even have the cheek to look at our own troubles, compare them to others that are in worse state of affairs, and then comfort ourselves that “we’ve not reached bottom… yet”. Crude as it sounds, you know it’s all very true. Why? Because, like an episode of Alley McBeal once scripted, “What makes your troubles so much more bigger than anyone else’s?... Because they’re mine!”
But unfortunately (or fortunately), many of us still feel the pain and anguish through all that smokescreen. Whether we want to accept it or not, we are bound by hearts that are not made of stone, by consciences that well, give us endless sleepless nights of torment, especially so when we know we still have a God to answer to.
So, while we see no answer coming from God for all these suffering and despair, we are still duty bound to honour that part of us which makes us humans – the humanity that resides in our minds and emotions.
Yes, there were many times when I told God to go screw himself, that I don’t see him lending out a hand for all the pain going about. Of course, mine included… Yes, a lot of anger, a lot of unanswered questions and a whole lot of pain.
The words of Christ becomes all too real : “Eli, Eli Lama sabachthani?” – My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?
So, if you asked me why? I honestly don’t know. But at least this I am sure of. Mankind is the most cruel of all living things for hording food from his dying fellow human beings, enforcing debts that can never be repaid in one’s lifetime and exalting evil and cruelness that are beyond words because of nothing more than mere greed that goes beyond boundaries.
The unrestrained man is the most hideous of all living organisms.
At the end of it all, I doubt we can truly blame God for all the pain and suffering that we’ve caused. Neither can the devil be blamed, for in many, many ways, we’re more evil than evil itself. Hell, we even make satan look good.
So if there’s just one plea I can make, it is this: Humanity is not about greed. It is about the godliness that resides in us all. And we have a choice to either turn ourselves as gods or devils… just pray that we’ll be human enough to choose the former over the latter. God knows we need it.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The dumb blond syndrome
It’s amazing that the more progressive mankind gets, the more he makes himself out to be stupid. That is, he becomes a “dumb blond” (so sorry for the pun, but honestly, that’s the best description I could come up with that sums up what I mean).
Overnight, he’ll go from someone remotely trying to outdo his peers to a total dimwit, not knowing, not wanting to know nor even bothered that he might know. Just so long as the world believes that he’s well, quite dim. At least then, he wouldn’t have to answer or do anything that resembles real work
But honestly, we are not made just to show off our stupidity on our sleeves. Maybe it’s the pressures of modern society that keeps raining huge expectations and demands. Or maybe its the fear of not being as good enough as...
But really, to have to put on a mask to make the world think we’re actually stupid just so that we wouldn’t have to be responsible for any work, any responsibility or as an answer for our fears are just nothing more than cowardice. Whining becomes our trademark.
And this disease goes through all levels of society. We see how celebrities love to project themselves as really, really dim. Why, you would be able to count off the number of your fellow peers that do the same thing, especially so when it comes to shouldering the work that has to be done.
But see, when one does hide behind the mask of stupidity and well, hope to achieve obscurity by that, it really does nothing more than stun his/her own growth. Sure, he might learn the best methods for dodging and such, but the price that will be paid is too high. After all, one only gets one lifetime to spend and it’s truly a sorry state when that lifetime is spent on seeking out the best way not to work, not to improve and not to explore all of God’s wonderful world.
Yes, the daily grind can be very, very exhausting. Many times I too, have wanted to just give up, and live a dismal dim life where I can’t be blamed if I’m considered lacking in brain matter. But then again, I think again and hey, I’ve too many responsibilities, both to myself and others not to fight on. I realize that I can’t afford to give in to wishful thinking or tired muscles, tired emotions and tired mind. If I did, the person I’ll be hurting most of all is myself.
Besides, God didn’t create me to waste away a lifetime of what is possible. And to do that knowingly and willfully will be the saddest thing ever.
Overnight, he’ll go from someone remotely trying to outdo his peers to a total dimwit, not knowing, not wanting to know nor even bothered that he might know. Just so long as the world believes that he’s well, quite dim. At least then, he wouldn’t have to answer or do anything that resembles real work
But honestly, we are not made just to show off our stupidity on our sleeves. Maybe it’s the pressures of modern society that keeps raining huge expectations and demands. Or maybe its the fear of not being as good enough as...
But really, to have to put on a mask to make the world think we’re actually stupid just so that we wouldn’t have to be responsible for any work, any responsibility or as an answer for our fears are just nothing more than cowardice. Whining becomes our trademark.
And this disease goes through all levels of society. We see how celebrities love to project themselves as really, really dim. Why, you would be able to count off the number of your fellow peers that do the same thing, especially so when it comes to shouldering the work that has to be done.
But see, when one does hide behind the mask of stupidity and well, hope to achieve obscurity by that, it really does nothing more than stun his/her own growth. Sure, he might learn the best methods for dodging and such, but the price that will be paid is too high. After all, one only gets one lifetime to spend and it’s truly a sorry state when that lifetime is spent on seeking out the best way not to work, not to improve and not to explore all of God’s wonderful world.
Yes, the daily grind can be very, very exhausting. Many times I too, have wanted to just give up, and live a dismal dim life where I can’t be blamed if I’m considered lacking in brain matter. But then again, I think again and hey, I’ve too many responsibilities, both to myself and others not to fight on. I realize that I can’t afford to give in to wishful thinking or tired muscles, tired emotions and tired mind. If I did, the person I’ll be hurting most of all is myself.
Besides, God didn’t create me to waste away a lifetime of what is possible. And to do that knowingly and willfully will be the saddest thing ever.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Christianity 101
Now, here’s one blog that’s bound to piss some people off, especially Christians. Hey, not that I’ve anything against them. Heck I myself am one. So, what’s up my mind then? What? Giving into apostasy just to gain a little notoriety?
No, actually what I would like to share was about the time when I skipped Church on a Sunday morning to go on a walkabout in a village. Don’t remember why I did that, but I did that.
Anyway, I remember distinctively telling myself on that day that I’ve seen more of Christianity than all the time I’ve spent in Church. Here I was among nothing more than regular folks, many of whom were breaking their backs just carving out a living, even on a weekend. Somehow, there was a great deal of authenticity there, albeit in quite a rough form. Now, contrast that with the often irritatingly daintiness and goody-two-shoes attitudes (or rather pretenses) that most Church-going Christian will mask themselves so as tohave others believe that they are “good Christian brethens”.
Honestly, all that does sicken me to a great extend, especlally when those same folks “revert” to worse than regular human beings on weekdays, you know, the ones that makes one want to just give up being a Christian. Their attitudes leave much to be desired. Yet, somehow, they are the very same folks that still maintain a holy Sunday look even on weekdays, minus the most crucial differences – hearts.
Actually, no one makes me feel more disgusted to be a Christian, than Christians themselves.
See, abstaining from drinking, partying and such does not make a Christian a Christian. Why, even Jesus himself must be quite a party animal, considering that the very first miracle he performed was the turning of water into wine. So, how is it that his followers today can have an even “holier” attitude than their founder by denouncing drinking as evil and merry-making an almost satanic ritual?
Either they forget, or are blissfully ignorant that Jesus, in as much as he was divine, was also humanly a carpenter. And believe me, if you’ve dealt with carpenters, they aren’t exactly the most refined of people in the word. So, let’s have no misconception. Our lord and saviour was not without rough edges. Yet, what differentiated him was his heart. Heart for others, heart for those that society considers ungodly, undesirable, and well, un-Christian like. Above all, a heart for others regardless.
So, strip away all that “Church-likeness” and if you can still find the heart of that person, it would have truly defined what a Christian should be. No wonder, Gandhi once remarked that while he had great admiration for Jesus, he could not say the same for Christians. That, my dear friend, hurts. It hurts to the core of a Christian heart, not because they are words that go against our grains, but rather, those words are well... honestly true. Let’s not kid ourselves anymore. Jesus was indeed right when he said that it isn’t the things that goes into the mouths of men that make them sin, it’s what comes out of it.
No, actually what I would like to share was about the time when I skipped Church on a Sunday morning to go on a walkabout in a village. Don’t remember why I did that, but I did that.
Anyway, I remember distinctively telling myself on that day that I’ve seen more of Christianity than all the time I’ve spent in Church. Here I was among nothing more than regular folks, many of whom were breaking their backs just carving out a living, even on a weekend. Somehow, there was a great deal of authenticity there, albeit in quite a rough form. Now, contrast that with the often irritatingly daintiness and goody-two-shoes attitudes (or rather pretenses) that most Church-going Christian will mask themselves so as tohave others believe that they are “good Christian brethens”.
Honestly, all that does sicken me to a great extend, especlally when those same folks “revert” to worse than regular human beings on weekdays, you know, the ones that makes one want to just give up being a Christian. Their attitudes leave much to be desired. Yet, somehow, they are the very same folks that still maintain a holy Sunday look even on weekdays, minus the most crucial differences – hearts.
Actually, no one makes me feel more disgusted to be a Christian, than Christians themselves.
See, abstaining from drinking, partying and such does not make a Christian a Christian. Why, even Jesus himself must be quite a party animal, considering that the very first miracle he performed was the turning of water into wine. So, how is it that his followers today can have an even “holier” attitude than their founder by denouncing drinking as evil and merry-making an almost satanic ritual?
Either they forget, or are blissfully ignorant that Jesus, in as much as he was divine, was also humanly a carpenter. And believe me, if you’ve dealt with carpenters, they aren’t exactly the most refined of people in the word. So, let’s have no misconception. Our lord and saviour was not without rough edges. Yet, what differentiated him was his heart. Heart for others, heart for those that society considers ungodly, undesirable, and well, un-Christian like. Above all, a heart for others regardless.
So, strip away all that “Church-likeness” and if you can still find the heart of that person, it would have truly defined what a Christian should be. No wonder, Gandhi once remarked that while he had great admiration for Jesus, he could not say the same for Christians. That, my dear friend, hurts. It hurts to the core of a Christian heart, not because they are words that go against our grains, but rather, those words are well... honestly true. Let’s not kid ourselves anymore. Jesus was indeed right when he said that it isn’t the things that goes into the mouths of men that make them sin, it’s what comes out of it.
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