The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Optimism
The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
Friday, April 18, 2008
When subordinates fight back
Ever had staff or subordinates that seem to always challenge your authority or work? You know, the ones that aren’t afraid to get into a fight with you?
Let me clarify something here, though. When they do argue or debate with you on matters, it won’t be about your attitude or behaviour but rather, the work at hand. That is, their primary concern is about the company and how some things are not done right. (When you get told by your subordinates that your behaviour stinks, it simply means that your behaviour stinks).
Now, before you start plotting out your plans to purge these people, let me share a very important secret. It’s this:
When they bother to argue with you that means they still are still concerned about the welfare of the company. Whether they will be unpopular with you is about the least of their concern. These are specialists in their fields. And specialist will fight you because of integrity and pride in their work.
Hence, instead of getting agitated, you should really take the time to hear them out.
For when you don’t, the time will come when they will stop arguing with you, stop offering creative output and advice and well… you will find them being unusually compliant. Their conversations with you will turn cordial with sprinkling of mere “hi” and “bye”.
And just when you’d thought you’ve had them licked, they will throw in their towels and walk out on you.
See, when they don’t bother to fight you anymore, it simply means that they’re exhausted and have virtually given up on the company. They will make their exit very soon and very sudden.
Here, I would like to caution you against those that hover around incessantly with nothing more than “pats on backs” and well, you know, the ones that keep telling you how right you are all the time and that everyone should worship the ground you walk on since it has been “fragranced with your wise leadership” and et cetera.
These people are nothing more than mere apple polishers. For one will only need to do that when he/she is inadequate or incompetent in their jobs. And believe me, I’ve seen a hell lot of these people that are apt at nothing more than singing your praises. Just remember this. Specialists will never suck up to you because they don’t have a need to since they take great pride in their profession and will stand up to you in defense of their integrity.
How you deal and answer such dramatically opposing nature coming from your workforce will determine your skill as a leader.
Let me clarify something here, though. When they do argue or debate with you on matters, it won’t be about your attitude or behaviour but rather, the work at hand. That is, their primary concern is about the company and how some things are not done right. (When you get told by your subordinates that your behaviour stinks, it simply means that your behaviour stinks).
Now, before you start plotting out your plans to purge these people, let me share a very important secret. It’s this:
When they bother to argue with you that means they still are still concerned about the welfare of the company. Whether they will be unpopular with you is about the least of their concern. These are specialists in their fields. And specialist will fight you because of integrity and pride in their work.
Hence, instead of getting agitated, you should really take the time to hear them out.
For when you don’t, the time will come when they will stop arguing with you, stop offering creative output and advice and well… you will find them being unusually compliant. Their conversations with you will turn cordial with sprinkling of mere “hi” and “bye”.
And just when you’d thought you’ve had them licked, they will throw in their towels and walk out on you.
See, when they don’t bother to fight you anymore, it simply means that they’re exhausted and have virtually given up on the company. They will make their exit very soon and very sudden.
Here, I would like to caution you against those that hover around incessantly with nothing more than “pats on backs” and well, you know, the ones that keep telling you how right you are all the time and that everyone should worship the ground you walk on since it has been “fragranced with your wise leadership” and et cetera.
These people are nothing more than mere apple polishers. For one will only need to do that when he/she is inadequate or incompetent in their jobs. And believe me, I’ve seen a hell lot of these people that are apt at nothing more than singing your praises. Just remember this. Specialists will never suck up to you because they don’t have a need to since they take great pride in their profession and will stand up to you in defense of their integrity.
How you deal and answer such dramatically opposing nature coming from your workforce will determine your skill as a leader.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Racism
Call it what you may, whether it be racism, xenophobia or ethnocentrism, we all have such tendencies to discriminate others based on racial lines.
Not in the least? Well, how about the instances when we proudly refer to ourselves as Chinese-Malaysians, Irish-Americans, Afro-Canadians and so on?
See, in many ways, we are somewhat racist in nature.
Having said that, I recall a time when I was a student in Canada and there was this one person who spoke out against prejudices in perhaps one of the most profound ways. He said that Canadians should stop regarding their country as a melting-pot because while the extend of its cities are highly cosmopolitan to a very large degree, there is no way in reality that it can be a melting-pot.
Everyone comes in different shapes, sizes and colour… and that we should all accept and appreciate the differences instead of trying to turn ourselves blind to such a fact of nature, regardless of how noble the thought may be.
There is a great deal of truth to that.
But I also believe that combating racism is a very conscious effort. Let’s not fool ourselves. Yes, we all look different, come from different social backgrounds and well, are just about as unique to everyone about.
Yet at the same time, we can, if we want to, assimilate into a race of humanity as opposed to a race of ethnicity.
However, that love for humanity (and for God’s creation for that matter) has to overwhelm our racial biasness. We don’t have to pretend that the differences aren’t there. They are. We just have to begin “training” ourselves simply as Malaysians, Americans and Canadians instead.
Not in the least? Well, how about the instances when we proudly refer to ourselves as Chinese-Malaysians, Irish-Americans, Afro-Canadians and so on?
See, in many ways, we are somewhat racist in nature.
Having said that, I recall a time when I was a student in Canada and there was this one person who spoke out against prejudices in perhaps one of the most profound ways. He said that Canadians should stop regarding their country as a melting-pot because while the extend of its cities are highly cosmopolitan to a very large degree, there is no way in reality that it can be a melting-pot.
Everyone comes in different shapes, sizes and colour… and that we should all accept and appreciate the differences instead of trying to turn ourselves blind to such a fact of nature, regardless of how noble the thought may be.
There is a great deal of truth to that.
But I also believe that combating racism is a very conscious effort. Let’s not fool ourselves. Yes, we all look different, come from different social backgrounds and well, are just about as unique to everyone about.
Yet at the same time, we can, if we want to, assimilate into a race of humanity as opposed to a race of ethnicity.
However, that love for humanity (and for God’s creation for that matter) has to overwhelm our racial biasness. We don’t have to pretend that the differences aren’t there. They are. We just have to begin “training” ourselves simply as Malaysians, Americans and Canadians instead.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Asking questions
The line “When in doubt, leave it out” or “When in doubt, check it out” still rings true in many editorial rooms around the world today, especially at the sub-editor’s or editor’s desk. Till date, regardless of how intelligent a certain newsman is, he/she will still abide by this rule as though it’s religion.
There is a great lesson to be learned from these little words.
As with all human beings, everyone is fallible and prone to times when they do not know things.
Yet astonishingly, I’ve seen how people go to great lengths to even lie to themselves of their own capabilities or knowledge, always careful to project an image that they are all-knowing and well, as omnipotent as God himself.
That’s just nonsensical.
See, we’ve come to believe that it’s a sin to admit to not knowing things, as if everyone is born with a complete encyclopedia of the universe, condensed into 3lbs of brain matter, and wedged between the ears.
Ever more so, it is important that we just admit to not knowing the things that we do not know and ask questions for that’s how a person learns. It’s a primal rule… has been and always will be the way to learning new things, ideas and knowledge.
It is also wise therefore, to be cautious of characters that walk about with their noses held high as though they know everything there is to know about the universe.
These people, if installed at places of influence will eventually cause the downfall of organisations with nothing more than stupidity and their refusal to admit that they don’t know. I have seen it happening time and again.
So ask questions. There is nothing wrong in admitting that you don't know, at least not yet.
There is a great lesson to be learned from these little words.
As with all human beings, everyone is fallible and prone to times when they do not know things.
Yet astonishingly, I’ve seen how people go to great lengths to even lie to themselves of their own capabilities or knowledge, always careful to project an image that they are all-knowing and well, as omnipotent as God himself.
That’s just nonsensical.
See, we’ve come to believe that it’s a sin to admit to not knowing things, as if everyone is born with a complete encyclopedia of the universe, condensed into 3lbs of brain matter, and wedged between the ears.
Ever more so, it is important that we just admit to not knowing the things that we do not know and ask questions for that’s how a person learns. It’s a primal rule… has been and always will be the way to learning new things, ideas and knowledge.
It is also wise therefore, to be cautious of characters that walk about with their noses held high as though they know everything there is to know about the universe.
These people, if installed at places of influence will eventually cause the downfall of organisations with nothing more than stupidity and their refusal to admit that they don’t know. I have seen it happening time and again.
So ask questions. There is nothing wrong in admitting that you don't know, at least not yet.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Inspiration and routine
Though I can’t recall the words verbatim from the walls of a gym I once attended, nonetheless, the gist of it still comes across loud and clear.
It goes something like: “Inspiration pushes you, routine sustains you”.
Yes, I know how it’s like on many days when the old body engine just refuses to start with the morning chill and motivation is at an all time low, drained from yesterday’s workload.
When that happens, a good method to use to kick-start yourself is to go on an auto-mode. That is, screw inspiration and shift into the routine gear. I know this sounds a little humdrum, but in all honesty, on days like this, it helps to sink into the routine and just do the work even if it’s uninspiring… just to get through the hours.
Because while inspiration may be a great high, our bodies and minds are not engineered to sustain at that level for long. There will be times when we need a break from creativity too. This I know for a fact happens especially for writers.
There will be numerous days and occasions when your brain needs a rest. That’s when I would go into a mode of doing chores or work that doesn’t aren’t a mental drain. “Mechanical” things and oh well, just something real easy.
But before you go on how “unproductive” this is, bear in mind that if you tax your mental capabilities beyond its limits, you do nothing more than exert damage. That’s why when creative studio people reach a certain hour, their creativity shuts down. At that point, it’s time to retire for the day because you’ll only be churning out rubbish after that.
So, if the inspiration’s getting a little cold, chill out and switch on the routine carburetor.
It goes something like: “Inspiration pushes you, routine sustains you”.
Yes, I know how it’s like on many days when the old body engine just refuses to start with the morning chill and motivation is at an all time low, drained from yesterday’s workload.
When that happens, a good method to use to kick-start yourself is to go on an auto-mode. That is, screw inspiration and shift into the routine gear. I know this sounds a little humdrum, but in all honesty, on days like this, it helps to sink into the routine and just do the work even if it’s uninspiring… just to get through the hours.
Because while inspiration may be a great high, our bodies and minds are not engineered to sustain at that level for long. There will be times when we need a break from creativity too. This I know for a fact happens especially for writers.
There will be numerous days and occasions when your brain needs a rest. That’s when I would go into a mode of doing chores or work that doesn’t aren’t a mental drain. “Mechanical” things and oh well, just something real easy.
But before you go on how “unproductive” this is, bear in mind that if you tax your mental capabilities beyond its limits, you do nothing more than exert damage. That’s why when creative studio people reach a certain hour, their creativity shuts down. At that point, it’s time to retire for the day because you’ll only be churning out rubbish after that.
So, if the inspiration’s getting a little cold, chill out and switch on the routine carburetor.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Despair and survival
For anyone who’s been down or are on the rocky road of despair will know this feeling all too well. Its hopelessness 101. When all is lost and there’s just no return. When all you need is just one lucky lottery ticket, one miraculous break or the heavens to open up. It’s come to a point that it’s either that or the end of life as one knows it.
This very same feeling is synonymous with gamblers too. Who will for one last chance, place his entire ante on one last number, to hope for that make or break moment. Yet at the very same time, there are gamblers too, that know that life will still go on despite that last chip. And likewise, when one’s down the path of despair to realize that there will still be a tomorrow.
You’ve heard it many times over – that it’s always easier to despair than to make good on one’s life. And likewise with gamblers too, there is a stinging need to be “real to oneself”.
Retrospectively, I’ve heard many a gambler’s story on why they gamble. It’s because “at least they are being true to themselves”. There is still the need to authenticate one’s life. Funnily enough, people seem to think that their lives will be “more authentic” if they reached down their souls to find despair and that being happy is non-authentic.
Come on. I sometimes wonder why people seem to have this need to flog themselves in guilt and suffering. Let’s get this straight. Guilt and suffering is not authentication. What it is, is a blame game. When it’s not feasible to blame others, we seem to think that we should then, blame ourselves. Now, I’m one who believes very much in accepting self-responsibility, but I do not believe in blaming ourselves to the point where it becomes detrimental. Where there can be no constructive outcome but mere despair. That, is a disease.
So, while I would like to be able to offer answers in a pearl shell, I have none except for the following – “Because you must survive, regardless…”
This very same feeling is synonymous with gamblers too. Who will for one last chance, place his entire ante on one last number, to hope for that make or break moment. Yet at the very same time, there are gamblers too, that know that life will still go on despite that last chip. And likewise, when one’s down the path of despair to realize that there will still be a tomorrow.
You’ve heard it many times over – that it’s always easier to despair than to make good on one’s life. And likewise with gamblers too, there is a stinging need to be “real to oneself”.
Retrospectively, I’ve heard many a gambler’s story on why they gamble. It’s because “at least they are being true to themselves”. There is still the need to authenticate one’s life. Funnily enough, people seem to think that their lives will be “more authentic” if they reached down their souls to find despair and that being happy is non-authentic.
Come on. I sometimes wonder why people seem to have this need to flog themselves in guilt and suffering. Let’s get this straight. Guilt and suffering is not authentication. What it is, is a blame game. When it’s not feasible to blame others, we seem to think that we should then, blame ourselves. Now, I’m one who believes very much in accepting self-responsibility, but I do not believe in blaming ourselves to the point where it becomes detrimental. Where there can be no constructive outcome but mere despair. That, is a disease.
So, while I would like to be able to offer answers in a pearl shell, I have none except for the following – “Because you must survive, regardless…”
Sunday, April 13, 2008
GOOGLINGS.COM
Aiyaiya... what's happening to Reality.com.my?
Well, this week, we'll be fine-tweaking the site to crossover to GOOGLINGS.COM. While we would have liked to continue with Reality.com.my, however, we've been receiving numerous feedback from our readers telling us that they've been experiencing tremendous problems logging onto our site with the .MY extension.
Hence, after much thought, we'll rebrand the site as googlings.com in keeping the technical glitches at bay.
We hope you'll continue to lend us your support as you've have all this time. Should you still encounter problems logging into the site, please do let us know so that we could rectify any problems ASAP.
Once again, thanks for your support!
Well, this week, we'll be fine-tweaking the site to crossover to GOOGLINGS.COM. While we would have liked to continue with Reality.com.my, however, we've been receiving numerous feedback from our readers telling us that they've been experiencing tremendous problems logging onto our site with the .MY extension.
Hence, after much thought, we'll rebrand the site as googlings.com in keeping the technical glitches at bay.
We hope you'll continue to lend us your support as you've have all this time. Should you still encounter problems logging into the site, please do let us know so that we could rectify any problems ASAP.
Once again, thanks for your support!
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