Oriental courtsies

The nagging habit of Asians to play to rhetorics can sometimes be truly stifling. On the pretext of politeness or courtesy, we almost never express how we truly feel. Instead, we put on a masks of false modesty and waive all offers of help when we really need them.

And while this may be seen as an Oriental character for politeness which many in the West would like to label (and thereby adding to their already misconception of the eastern “mystique”), it is nothing more than an inability to admit to certain inadequacies.

Yes, I said inadequacies and no, I make no apologies for that.

See, the very act of not being able to accept defeats, regardless of how small they may seem, is what stands between us admitting that we need help at times and refusing help even when offered.

Here, I must commend our neighbours in the West that will literally “tell you to your face” what they really think and their reciprocal ability to accept in-your-face criticisms and comments without having to resort to an endless cycle to “get back” at each other for “face lost”. Yes, we are a vengeful bunch that cannot accept words that mean what they mean.

Honestly, after more than 5,000 years of Oriental civilisation, I think it’s high time that we learn from those who have surpassed us despite having only a third of the time to build their civilisations. It’s time we got off our high horses and come to the realisation that yes, we may have had a longer history to begin with, but we also buggered up along the way, resulting in others having better developments, both from the standpoint of humanity as well as economic advancements.

For the sooner we come to accepting our inadequacies and shortcomings, we earlier we’ll start on moulding a more advanced civilisation. Well, perhaps we can start here then. Just the simple act of saying what we mean even if it means hurting another in the face because at least then, they’ll start respecting us for being straight-forward. At least then, we’ll also be able to stop hiding behind the mask of “politeness”.

When the world caves in

So, yes, crap happens all the time. Some days are okay while others are total disasters that doesn’t seem to end with the day, much like a waking nightmare. You know, the kind that seems to churn your stomach inside out.

What do you do on these days then?

Well, if you’re like most, myself included, you either have an option to scram for cover under the thickest protective blanket you can get a hold off and wait it out till the weekend for a breather or drink yourself silly to wart off the feelings of anxiety and general “shittiness” that seems to hover everywhere about you.

Honestly, I don’t know which one to recommend, but I do know that I’ll likely choose the latter, although not really drinking myself silly. Just two cans of nice cold beer and a good friend to hang loose with certainly helps to while away the time without having to be “in the zone” of worrying my nuts off about problems of the day.

Having said that, I have comes across another solution, which is very much in the head kinda answer.

See, the human brain has a capacity to induce and produce neuro-chemicals that dictate moods. That is, at least in theory, the brain can order for the secretion of the happy-feeling chemical, Serotonin.

Hmm… so how does one go about to have that done without having years of meditative expertise to help in the process? After all, them Tibetan monks spent a good part of their lives just meditating day in and day out to achieve some of the most amazing feats you can ever imagine.

Well, here’s one little trick I’ve found that helps me avoid being reeled over by the doldrums of depression.

I begin imagining myself as some great general such as Napoleon or MacArthur and then proceed to hype myself up with questions on what they would do under such circumstances, how they would react. I would then tell myself that I too, am a general like them and all of a sudden, I find that I would be planning for things ahead as well as strategising manoeuvres to overcome these problems one by one.

Logical steps and next course of action are then rationalized. I would then take a seat back to have a look at the whole picture and ask myself again… is this what great generals would do?

Yes, I know it’s very much playing a fantasy role, but on the other hand, if it helps, why not? Besides, anything would still feel better than that stomach churn. So, go ahead and try it. Let me know if it works for you as well.

Evilness

Truly, the heart of man knows no limits to the depth of his evil intents. At times, that even makes the devil look like a saint in comparison.

Here’s a quick case in point.

Ever noticed how some people would rather spend their energy and time to bring others down so that they could appear to be indispensable? It seems like their every waking moment is spent on scheming and gossiping just so that others would look quite useless.

Oh yes, we all recognize them. These are the ones that have nothing but sweet honey flowing from their lips with the bosses and tongues that would put the devil to shame when it came to dealing with their peers or subordinates.

These days, the degradation of society and values is such that these people don’t even bother to cover their shifting characters. I have seen how both the saint look can turn to something that’s far more uglier than you can ever imagine within a split second when the bosses are away.

But the thing that really gets me is how they can live with themselves. To torment themselves day and night with having to live with ill intent through their waking moments. Yes, schemes and such may sound intelligent and “hip” in the beginning, but that’s soon short lived.

See, everyone, that is, every human being is made with mechanisms that’s in-built to their systems. And while it’s hard to define this system, its manifestation is similar. Everyone have a need to feel clean, to be able to rest in contentment that they are living lives that are godly.

This is the very same essence when the Bible mentions that God created human in his own likeness. Yes, there is a flame, however bright or dim it may get, that demands for godliness and when evil is allowed to reign, makes one feel about the worst uneasiness he/she will ever feel.

Now, I’ve seen how people either does some charity work to make up for the countless times that they’ve harmed others as well as those that really can’t get a good night’s sleep, literally, where obsessive compulsion has taken full hold of their lives.

Yet, on the same token, once some form of penance have been paid, these fools reverts back to another cycle of evilness, setting them into an endless cycle to screw everyone just so that they can once again appear to be the world’s saint. Hey, remember Lucifer? He wasn’t the ugly devil to begin with, he was the most beautiful of all God’s angels. Evil comes from the heart, not from appearance.

Perfect relationships

Script writers are gems, coming up with some of the most interesting and arresting anecdotes each week, especially sitcom writers. Their brilliant phrases encapsulate universal truths with each capsule and brought to life each time on our TV screens.

This morning’s airing of “Scrubs” provided yet another one of those philosophical moments that’s just dying to be mentioned.

To sum it up, the phrase about the perfect relationship is just absolutely brilliant: “The perfect relationship is when you still want to be together when it sucks…”

Yes, it reinforces the truth that character is only measurable at the lowest ebb of one’s life, as is the strength of a relationship or a friendship. It’s always easy to love someone or to be “in character” when one’s sitting on top of the world. But if you asked me, I believe that one’s life is molded of the tough stuff, not the easy ones.

And the partner or friends that stick with you when you’re at your ugliest and unsightly self are those that truly appreciate you for who you are and not what you have or what they hope to get from you. These are rare and when you do find them, you should make every endeavour to treasure them, for it is a growingly crude and hostile world we live in where almost every good element such as honour, integrity and love is readily thrown out the window for a small measure of even three silver pieces, never mind the thirty that was paid to Judas for the price of his lord’s head.

And reality for being what it is, if you have two or three of such people in your life that actually values you for who you are, you would have discovered the pearl in the world’s oyster. Believe me, these angels are truly hard to come by these days.

Gambling

Today’s blog may seem somewhat controversial, given the sentiments surrounding gambling. No, I’m in no means advocating gambling for I’ve seen how my own uncle has literally lost his entire fortune in casinos and is still very much addicted to it. For him, it has gotten to a point where it isn’t about winning anymore, but rather being able to participate in its gaming.

Anyway, I was recently intrigued by how much some families absolutely abhor gambling where even the mere playing of card games or mahjong would be great cause of concern and sleepless nights because someone in the family line had lost a fortune or even his/her life due to the gambling vice.

Intrigued because with my family, we were taught to “gamble” from a very young age where we participated in card games and mahjong with aunts, uncles and parents as if there was nothing wrong with that, except that we were lectured almost mercilessly when a “wrong card” is thrown.

And over time, one gets to be quite apt at the games.

However, it was not all just about gambling for I remember being told over and over again that we should never gamble with strangers or acquaintances and that it was only okay if it was with close relations.

In a way, it was like weaving a safety blanket.

We were further lectured on how to play these games with some resemblance of intelligence and good gameplay, should we come upon times when we are “forced” to gamble. That too, was another safety net.

However, by and far, the greatest benefit I’ve derived from it is not the gamble, nor the gameplay for I am truly a sordid example of a gambler (err… I keep losing?), but rather the exercising of my mind and the use of best logical solutions for dealt cards. Granted, I’m lousy at that, but hey, at least I got to hone my gaming skills every once awhile… that is, if I don’t get kicked out of the game by irate aunts that are always ready to condemn me to hell for throwing the wrong cards.

An oh, another supposed benefit that I would have derived from these gambling games would be the learning of being gracious in defeat and humble in winning. So far, I’ve learned immensely on being gracious without much opportunity to be humble.

Yes, I do suck at gambling. But at least I know never to gamble with strangers for honest to God, I truly am hopeless at it.

Mind over matter

It’s amazing that the mind of man can be larger, more vast than the limitless borders of the universe, yet at the same time so small that it only resides within the hollow walls of the human skull.

I have seen how lofty ideals and talk of honour and nobleness can come from the same person, yet at the very same measure, how he/she can simultaneously advocate for some of the most cruel and nonsensical philosophy that staggers the imagination.

Within the same neighbourhood, aye, and even within the same street, neighbours can turn on each other, pitting each other in endless contests to showoff their wealth and supposed status. I have seen neighbours snubbing each other on the same street or corridors because the other may be supposedly poorer than them.

Everyone shows off without realizing that they are all residing in the very same neighbourhood of limited means and income, where no one is actually richer or poorer than the other, nor more eloquently educated. The only difference is that they allow themselves to deceive themselves within the confines of their own minds and thereby proceed to tell themselves that they are indeed more substantial a person of society over his neighbours.

But honestly, does material wealth and status really matter that much. No one will readily admit to it, for their words will say otherwise while their actions and thoughts are centred constantly on how wealth and status is paramount to everything in their lives.

Taking it further, the bigotry that man allows into his mind is enormous. So, okay, here we’ve talked about wealth. In other instances, neighbours have turned on neighbours, people they’ve known all their lives. Cases in point, Cambodia, Rwanda and the seemingly endless conflict between the Israelis and the Palestinians. People who once broke bread together in the same community can up and kill at an instant. Brothers killing brothers and children killing their parents.

So, unless we determine and fight for the championing of the fundamental good of humanity and have that presiding our minds, the worst can and will happen.

Freewill

Now, this one’s another real gem, thanks again to my “deep brother” who claims that waves of insights only come sporadically, albeit in waves or so he claims. But really, he can be pretty deep when he needs to be. Other times, we just take endless swipes of cynicisms of each other, trying our hands at one-up-manships.

Anyway, he once quoted that “Everything is a choice/priority”.

Honestly, nothing can be better said than when it is said in a sentence of short words, this being definitely one of them.

Yes, whether we feel the need to justify or atone for our actions or intentions, everything is a choice and priority. Our decisions are in a sense an exercise of our freewill nature. Being humans, we are indeed very different from animals in that we have absolute control and thereby, absolute responsibility for our decisions because they are choices.

Hence, when we fail to accept responsibility or shirk from our decisions, we’re effectively refusing to admit that we made those decisions as human beings. To put it more crudely, we had become temporary animals – a debasement of our stature as persons.

And regardless of whether we refuse to admit to ourselves or to others , we are still just as guilty of dishonouring our humanity when we plea ignorance for our actions because in every sense, we make decisions with every intent and action.

So, that is basically no running away, is there? Remember, everything is indeed choices and priorities and how we choose reveals our true character.