There are many phrases and words in the Bible which I cannot honestly say that I do not understand. Rather, it is more of an inability to accept what it says. However, there are some which may appear initially to be somewhat unacceptable by humanitarian terms, only to find that cultural and social contexts of modern day differs greatly from that of Biblical eras, resulting in conflicts.
Having said that, there root of many of its message and insight remains beautiful to the core, and surprisingly, cuts through even to modern day, especially when it came to the self-actualisation of an individual.
Take an example of the verse : “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends,” taken from John 15:13.
In modern-day Southeast Asia, at least, the social context of this reference is not so much noble as it is damaging. Yes, we’re all familiar with fathers that care more for their friends than their families, always willing to go the extra mile for them than their own wives or children. This, despite them knowing that their friends are no more than mere “fair weathered friends” while their families suffer through for the next meal.
In as much as I sympathize for these situations, may I offer this. It is not about the friends that they are going the extra mile for. Deep within, it is about themselves and the need or craving to satisfy their own longings while the “friends” that they have milling around are only conduits. It is about themselves and not any other for a person can be with a thousand people, both family and friends and yet, feel like he/she is alone on an island.
Having said this, I guess you would understand by now how John 15:13 feels more like something ugly, at least for a lot of Asian mindsets.
Yet, there is always a flipside to every circumstance and situation.
Let’s face it. “Greater love hath no man than this…” pretty much says it in black and while. This is the ultimate love factor. It is greater than the love that one has for loved ones or even for one’s own life. So, to have that stated is kinda, well, how should I say it? …Ouch!
But let’s look at it from another angle, that of a humanitarian viewpoint.
Who’s a friend? Someone apart from ourselves, that’s for sure.
Actually, both loved ones and friends can be friends, as well as the millions of people that need our help, not just for a good time, but more out of desperation. It’s a little hard to explain, but I guess people that you relate to on an emotional level. Yes, it is sad to admit that you can be laying next to your husband or wife and still not be able to relate to as friends. There is an emotional detachment that hurts especially when one is unable to be a friend to the other as perhaps they were at initial stages of courtship.
Over the years, that friendship seemed to have faded away. That’s truly sad.
Yet, at the very same time, when we have “discovered ourselves” or as author Gary Zukav’s book aptly titled “The Seat of the Soul” pretty much explains a settling-in of one’s own, then friends to us takes on a whole different meaning. It has become an extension of ourselves. Emotions that can be related to strangers or acquaintances (aka friends) will flow easier, although that may not necessary be so for our loved ones.
Maybe its also time to be a friend to them, too. Perhaps then, we can truly realize the words “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
The tsunami within
Now this is not about any spy thriller and some witness protection plan that one hides away in some other remote place in the world with a new identity and a new life to boot.
But what it is, I believe is something that applies quite universally to everyone who’s feeling the “thick of battle” or the weariness of having to deal with less than desirable people day in and day out.
Yes, you know what I’m talking about. We all have desires, whether hidden or otherwise, to just run away to another place, another city or another country so that we can leave all that unpleasantness behind us and “start afresh”. Sometimes, too, it is more than a desire… it is a need.
But while I am all for one to just pack his/her bags and leave to that place where the sun should shine brighter and the grass is real (and not some astroturf), I sometimes wonder too, whether all the running will actually produce what we’ve after.
See, many will say “Yes, I do love myself… it’s the people that I can’t stand” and that there is a need to break away and go on a sojourn to “find ourselves”.
But honestly, do we really love ourselves as we ought to? If we did, we would have “found ourselves” already.
See, we love the things or the perception of ourselves; the way we wear our hair, the way we dress, the persona we project for the world to see. Yet, at the very heart of it all, we failed to honestly love ourselves to a point where the hairstyles, the clothes, the possessions and the image does not count as much as the reality of a life that’s truly authentic, both to others as well as ourselves.
It is a place where we can truly sit restful with a peace that surpasses all the crisis, all the calamity and all the tsunamis that swirl all around. Yes, it is an inner peace and acceptance of truly loving who we are, not what we have achieved.
Some may term it wearing our character on our sleeves, while some others will recognize it as being so coyly confident of oneself. However it’s called, it’s presence is undeniable and its power to remain calm in the eye of the storm is real. And believe me, at the very eye, the core of the tornado, while all around swirls with mayhem, the centre is dead calm. Yes, it is surreal, but nonetheless, real.
So perhaps, while the troubles, problems and chaos may be from the world and the circumstances, and place that we find ourselves in right now, the greater trouble is within ourselves. And unless we can come to a place where in the midst of all that chaos, there is still a core of absolute calm, there may be no place far enough that we can run to, nor a heaven real enough at the end of the rainbow.
For it is not so much against others that we battle with, but is with ourselves. So, unless the battle is fought, the war cannot be won.
But what it is, I believe is something that applies quite universally to everyone who’s feeling the “thick of battle” or the weariness of having to deal with less than desirable people day in and day out.
Yes, you know what I’m talking about. We all have desires, whether hidden or otherwise, to just run away to another place, another city or another country so that we can leave all that unpleasantness behind us and “start afresh”. Sometimes, too, it is more than a desire… it is a need.
But while I am all for one to just pack his/her bags and leave to that place where the sun should shine brighter and the grass is real (and not some astroturf), I sometimes wonder too, whether all the running will actually produce what we’ve after.
See, many will say “Yes, I do love myself… it’s the people that I can’t stand” and that there is a need to break away and go on a sojourn to “find ourselves”.
But honestly, do we really love ourselves as we ought to? If we did, we would have “found ourselves” already.
See, we love the things or the perception of ourselves; the way we wear our hair, the way we dress, the persona we project for the world to see. Yet, at the very heart of it all, we failed to honestly love ourselves to a point where the hairstyles, the clothes, the possessions and the image does not count as much as the reality of a life that’s truly authentic, both to others as well as ourselves.
It is a place where we can truly sit restful with a peace that surpasses all the crisis, all the calamity and all the tsunamis that swirl all around. Yes, it is an inner peace and acceptance of truly loving who we are, not what we have achieved.
Some may term it wearing our character on our sleeves, while some others will recognize it as being so coyly confident of oneself. However it’s called, it’s presence is undeniable and its power to remain calm in the eye of the storm is real. And believe me, at the very eye, the core of the tornado, while all around swirls with mayhem, the centre is dead calm. Yes, it is surreal, but nonetheless, real.
So perhaps, while the troubles, problems and chaos may be from the world and the circumstances, and place that we find ourselves in right now, the greater trouble is within ourselves. And unless we can come to a place where in the midst of all that chaos, there is still a core of absolute calm, there may be no place far enough that we can run to, nor a heaven real enough at the end of the rainbow.
For it is not so much against others that we battle with, but is with ourselves. So, unless the battle is fought, the war cannot be won.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
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