Bearing crosses

There is a tendency within us all to shift responsibilities that we crave for or are unable to live up to ourselves upon the shoulders others, whether it be our spouses or friends. And this is often masked with expectations for the others to fulfill – that which we ourselves are unable to fulfill.

What am I talking about?

The many issues of morality, social responsibilities and character traits which we place upon someone else to live up to, which we ourselves are unable to do so. And what is even more striking is that we “demand” that our spouses or friends fulfill these expectations to an absolute.

More often than not, too, we make provide a convenient escape for ourselves through various ways and means, whether it be on a platform of “nobleness” or “self-sacrifice” where we tell our spouses or friends that we are unable or do not have the capabilities to pursue what we want them to. We then proceed to harbour hopes and aspirations that they can achieve what we have failed or are failing to achieve.

To be honest, there is no nobleness or self-sacrifice in our actions.

See, the burden to fulfill achievements and responsibilities should and must rest squarely on our own shoulders… regardless. For this is what is mean in the words of the Bible when it says that each person must bear their own crosses. There is no exception.

Therefore, to expect and/or make another bear our crosses, be it our spouses or friends or even mere acquaintances is not only irresponsible, it is cruel. And for those that do try to bear another’s cross, that too, is irresponsible and cruel because while the intentions may sound noble, when we do not allow another to carry their own responsibilities, we are prolonging the crippling process of self-actualisation for the other. We are not God, nor do we have the capability to sustain or shoulder such undertakings.